Too Much: The Real Reason I Write

“You’re a Christian?”

“Yeah. I mean – not a very good one,” I say with a laugh.

“Well, I guess not.”

“Yeah – But that’s kind of the point. None of us are really good ones. Kind of why we need Him.”

“You got that much right,” I say after my daily conversation with myself.

I drink too much, I cuss too much, I work too much, I tell offensive jokes too much – I do most things “too much”. Yet, God still loves me regardless of my “too much”.

My “too much” is also what drives me. I joined the Army once because I wanted adventure “too much”. I started a few businesses because I want to be successful “too much”. I love my children and wife, well, “too much”. I often do things to check the box off on the list in my head “too much”.

I wrote a book because I just wanted to, “too much”. But, this time, maybe it was more than just a somewhat selfish “too much”. This time, maybe it was because I wanted to show my four girls the true “too much” in my life.

We write “what we know.” My book is a combination of people in my life. The main character is Mackenzie Granger, who, oddly, is a lot like my daughter Ellie, all the way down to the clothes she wears. Mackenzie has twin sisters, a combination of my own twin girls and my littlest one.

We learn as we write. The other characters are a little more deeply symbolic. Mackenzie and her best friend, Jacqueline, meet a group of ancient beings called the Changing. Each Changing represents one of the seven spirits of God, which, until I wrote this book, I didn’t know existed. The seven spirits are as follows:

  1. The Spirit of the LORD
  2. The Spirit of wisdom
  3. The Spirit of understanding
  4. The Spirit of counsel
  5. The Spirit of power
  6. The Spirit of knowledge
  7. The Spirit of the fear of the Lord

Each Changing gives a lesson, which is a parable that represents their spirit, much as the Bible is told in parables. Some of the Chaging’s stories are borrowed from parables in the Bible, which only seemed appropriate for the overall theme of the book, which is a parable in itself. I will tell you Gwennie represents the Spirit of the LORD. I, however, leave it to you to figure out the other spirits.

Ultimately, I wanted to write something with layered meaning. On the surface, the story of Mackenzie Granger and Gwennie is a childhood fantasy full of magic and mayhem. Underneath, deep in the crevices, it is so much more. It tells the story of my “too much”.  

My “too much” is my drive to write. My “too much” is my love for my children. My “too much” is my relationship with my friends and ranger buddies. My “too much” is my family. My “too much” is what makes me who I am. But, ultimately, God’s “too much”, the “too much” love he has for me, despite my own “too much”, is my “why”. His “too much” is the real reason I write.